I'm all alone

Although many people try to help, no one seems to have a real understanding of what I'm dealing with this semester. And that's when the feeling of loneliness takes over.

My feelings about Math:

Plain and simple. It doesn't matter how many times I try working on a problem. Just when I think I get it, I see the possible answers to a problem and my answer isn't even close to any of the choices. UGH. WHY is this so hard for me?!?!?!?

Ok, so maybe the word "hate" is a bit strong. I'm just getting really frustrated because when I've been reviewing some of the stuff on the EDMATH page on ilearn, some of the answers don't match the regular rules that I follow, and it confuses me a lot. In math, I thought there was only one rule to follow for each problem and that there weren't exceptions, but I apparently was wrong.

Well, I'm just going to have to keep working at it until the stuff sticks in my head and I pass those tests!

So far so good!

Well after a few days of stressing about going into the schools for my practicum class, I finally had my first day there. I'm in a 3rd grade class and I have a really easy-going teacher. I love it. I was slightly terrified when we were going in, but after the first half hour or so, I managed to calm down and really observe the students and how the teacher managed the classroom. I teach my first lesson tomorrow, so that will be interesting. I'm kind of excited for it because it's a grammar lesson. :) We'll see how it goes!

I'm ready- let's do this!!

Well the main reason why I was stressing for the semester is over with, which was finding out where my placement would be for my practicum. I can just tell you that I am ready for this. I will be in a 3rd Grade classroom and I am really excited because my Early Field placement was in a 2nd grade classroom. This is going to be a great semester!! Yes it will be difficult, but I can do it!

New and LAST semester.... yipes!

Ok I am officially starting to freak out. My last semester starts tomorrow and I already have an assignment due. I'm going to get to it in just a second, but I have to let out my anxiety. I'm a little scared right now, ok strike that- I am A LOT scared now. I have my practicum two days a week where I am in an elementary school all day and then I have three other classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm auditing my religion class on Mondays and Wednesdays because I've taken all my required religion classes and I just thought this one would be interesting (World Religion). Anyway, I'm going to be doing lesson plans up the wazoo because of my practicum and my Math Methods class. *inhales and exhales* I've gotta just take it one day at a time. If I let myself think too far ahead in the week with everything I've gotta do, it won't get done.

One day at a time, Heather, one day at a time. Now I'm off to do that first lesson plan due tomorrow. *sigh*

My goals

This is slightly cliche, but I am going to write down my goals for this year. The difference between my goals for this year and the past years is that this is in the public eye. People may read this and may ask me about my goals, so it forces me to actually do them. Ok, so here goes:

#1 Pass all my math tests

#2 Get at least a B in all of my classes

#3 Earn enough money to pay for my books and both of my Praxis exams

#4 Pass both of my Praxis Exams

#5 Have a positive experience in my Practicum

#6 Finish my Letter of Introduction before the end of January

#7 Go on at least 3 dates with guys that ask me out instead of me asking them

#8 Earn enough money to pay for my semester of Student Teaching in the Fall

#9 Be more social while still getting good grades

#10 Spend more time with my siblings

I'm sure I've got more, but that's all I can think of right now.

Things I am thankful for

#1 My family

I have been thinking a lot over the last few months about how incredibly lucky I am to have the family I have. Both of my brothers have made sure I'm taken care of and am happy during my whole life.

Just recently, I have been noticing that whenever my older brother Mike is around when it's just our family at my parents' house or at his house, he always takes care of me and makes sure I am included. If I am isolating myself, he invites me to come do things with our other family members. He also thinks of me when we're playing games. I wasn't always that big into playing our family game of Rook, so whenever we'd get ready to play a game, he always gave me other options of things that I would like to play. His wife, Michelle, is just as inclusive as he is. She really is like another sister to me and I love it when I get to visit them or they come see us. They also have a little girl named Rachel who is probably one of the cutest babies I've ever seen.

My younger brother Tyler tries to include me as well. He's always thinking of others and making sure they are taken care of. He and I have always had a great relationship as brother and sister. I wrote him almost every week he was out on his mission (actually, I did the same with Mike on his mission too). When we were kids, he was a little more aware of things going on with the kids our ages (he's two years younger than me) than I was and so he tried to warn me of things that I shouldn't do so I wouldn't get made fun of. Tyler is a great brother and I love him very much.

My older sister Jenn and I haven't really had that close of a relationship as sisters until the Fall of 2004 when we were taking a couple classes together at UVSC and she was pregnant with her second son. During those first couple of months, we became closer because I was watching my nephew a lot and I taped some of her classes while she was in the hospital. Although, how she got a 4.0 that semester and even missed two weeks of her classes because of her pregnancy, I will never know because I went to almost all my classes over those couple weeks and I still got C's in some of mine. But anyway, I have come to love my sister very much. We have started learning more about each other over the past couple years and it has been fun to learn more about her.

I could not ask for better parents. They are two of the most loving people I know. I have been so incredibly blessed with a mom and dad who love each other very much and have been married for 35+ years. I have been observing people I work with and even just people I know around town and I have realized how many people I know who are divorced. It makes me sad to see so many families with divorced parents, but it also makes me realize how incredibly lucky I am to have the family I have. I know people who don't get along very well at all with their siblings or their parents and it makes me sad for them. I am grateful for a family who loves each other and we support each
other in everything that we do, including negative and positive experiences in life.

#2 My Disney World Experience
Working in Disney World in 2008 had so many influences on my life for good. I learned a great deal of life lessons that I don't think I would have learned as well any other way.

I learned how to be a better roommate by observing two of my roommates who were a little... well, crazy and somewhat inconsiderate.

I made friends that I will probably keep for a lifetime because they are people like me who are totally obsessed with Disney.

I made a friend with a girl named Courtney who is as obsessed with meeting Disney characters in person and watching Disney movies as quoting them as me. I will probably consider her as one of my closest friends for the rest of my life.

I roomed with a girl from school named Celeste who I was friends with, but we didn't really know a whole lot about each other while we were at BYU-I. Those few months we lived together, we discovered a lot of things we had in common, like movies, the movie industry, and acting in general, as well as things we were opposites in, like the fact that I am a total girly girl and she is not. She's not really a tomboy, but she doesn't like the color pink or anything traditionally girly. Celeste and I also discovered that if I hadn't been able to switch apartments and live in her apartment like I did, she probably could have killed at least one of our roommates because of this girl's hypocritical ways and insanity.

#3 Music and Dance
If I didn't have music or dance, I would go insane. When I can't dance full out like I would like to do, listening to my favorite music makes me happy and keeps me sane.

#4 My many jobs

I am always fortunate to have a job at Days Market when I come home from school because in the past, I have come home during the months when everyone else is getting ready to go back to school and so I have a guaranteed job there. This next Fall, though, is when I will be student teaching, so I am just planning on being at the store from the middle of April when I finish my classes at BYU-Idaho and I prepare for student teaching.

I also substitute teach when I am home in the fall, and that's usually for my dad's TV classes. Thank you, Dad, for giving me a second job.

During the Christmas season, I work on the Polar Express. I help the elves get ready and I remind them that they work the following day.

#5 The gospel of Jesus Christ
Plain and simple, Jesus Christ is my Savior. Without him, I cannot do anything on my own. He atoned for my many sins and I can't pay Him back for all of them, but I can do my personal best to repent and become more like Him.

Happy and sad

So I've been waiting in anticipation for the last few weeks waiting to find out whether or not my two cousins Whitney and Karlee were going to be accepted into the Disney World College Program. Actually, Whitney found out a while ago that she made it (YAY!), but Karlee still hadn't found out last last week and she was supposed to hear by December 18 whether she made it or not.

Well, I found out on Saturday night that Karlee had not made it. I was so sad to find that out because Karlee was so excited to go down there with Whitney and room with her and do the program with her. It also made me sad because Karlee's older sister Dayna did the program before I did mine and I think their mom did it too. So I feel really bad for Karlee because her mom did the program, her sister did it, I did it, and now her cousin that she was going to do the program with got accepted into it and Karlee doesn't get to do it with her. :(:(:(


I wish there was something I could say or do to make her feel better, but there's really nothing that I can say. I wanted to send her a Disney gift basket, but that would probably just make it worse.

Where did the Fall go?

In exactly one month, I will be going back to BYU-Idaho for my final semester there before I student teach next year. I just can't believe how fast the past few months have gone! I really didn't have much of a break at all between when I got home and when I auditioned for Annie Get Your Gun. I had five days between when my semester ended and when they held auditions, so I had just enough time to get settled back home and to get an audition song somewhat-ready (I forgot a few of the lyrics when I auditioned).










So I had rehearsals during August, September, and October and then we performed the first couple weekends in November. The morning after we closed the show, I flew out to California to go play in Disneyland with my friend Laura.



While I was there, I met the new princess (Tiana) and prince (Naveen) from the new Disney Animated movie "The Princess and the Frog."


And of course, I had to visit my favorite mice!


So since I've been home, I've been working on the Polar Express as well as my regular job at Days market and I'm also substitute teaching (mostly for my Dad's classes). The Polar Express ends on December 23 and the schools will have their Christmas break around the same time. So basically, I'm going to have about as much time to prepare myself to go back to school after Christmas as I had getting home from school in July. *sigh* Oh well, I've got to get myself mentally prepared for this coming semester because I can tell right now that this is going to be my hardest semester by far.

So in the meantime, I've to find time to spend with my friends that I've made while I've been home (in the singles ward). It's been nice to still see various members of the Annie Get Your Gun cast in Days pretty often, so it wasn't like I wasn't going to see some of my favorite people. :) Anyway, I hope I get everything done in the next 25ish days because come the end of December, I'll not only be saying goodbye to 2009, but I will be saying hello to 2010 and my last semester in my senior year. *inhales and exhales* I hope I can do this!

Annie Get Your Gun- Coming to Midway Town Hall November 5!

There's No Business Like Show Business, like no business I know!!! In a week and a half, the Timpanogas Valley Theater company will be opening our performance of Annie Get Your Gun. The dates of the show are November 5, 6, and 7, and the 12, 13, and 14. The first Thursday-Saturday shows are being included as one of the shows involved with Cowboy Poetry here in Heber. The following week will be a little less hectic because there won't be Cowboy Poetry stuff going on during our last performances.

I have to tell ya, I've been getting a little depressed lately because I know that we will be finishing the show soon and so I won't see my TVT friends nearly as often. This has happened every year when I've been in a show with TVT (this my third show with TVT). My TVT friends are some of my closest friends when I am home in Heber during the Fall months and I always realize about a week before opening the show that the beginning of the end of the show is drawing near. As a matter of fact, I was very upset last night. I didn't talk out loud very much and I was just kind of off in my own little world yesterday. I was trying to pinpoint why I was so depressed yesterday and it hit me last night that I am getting really sad that I won't see some of my closest Heber friends very much after November 14. In fact, I was wanting to have a good cry because I was so full of emotion last night and I couldn't think of another way to get it out.

What I like so much about this cast is that a lot of the principle actors are adults, which is the kind of cast I was first involved in with TVT (when I was in Blithe Spirit). I have known Justin since Blithe Spirit because like all the TVT productions, he's built the set for most of the shows. In 2007, I became friends with Lance when he was the lead in Pirated! and we've kept in touch really well because he teaches at the high school with my dad. I also have known all the directors (Ms. T, Duke, Josh, and Ann) for a long time before TVT even started. This year, I've gotten to know Becca, Beth, Laurie W and her daughter Erin, Ryan, Jason, Candee, Melissa G, Andy B, and a few of the younger kids.

It is the highlight of my week to go to rehearsals because I get to see my theater friends there. I don't have to worry about being 'normal' because in theater, being normal is overrated and we can all just be ourselves. I don't have a principle part in Annie Get Your Gun, but when Josh releases everyone but the principles, I enjoy just hanging out with them because they are the ones I most enjoy being around and I like watching them rehearse their scenes.

I am very sad to see the end of the Fall 09 Annie Get Your Gun show, but I am looking forward to doing Polar Express and a few other things before I head back to school.

I just hope I see Andy, Candee, Jason, and all my other cast members again after we finish because I think they shop at Smith's since the prices there are a little cheaper than Days Market. I've seen Ryan, Lance, Laurie W, Sue (Laurie's mom), Becca, and a few of the others in Days, but I never see the others and it makes me sad. :(

Busy, busy, busy!

I have been sooo busy lately. Since I have been home, I have worked
at least 32-35+ hours each week because I want to earn as much money as possible while I am home. I have also been going to my Annie Get Your Gun rehearsals each week to prepare for our shows in November.

It's been so interesting as I have just been reflecting about stuff while I am at work. I have had a lot of time to kill by just daydreaming until people come through my line at work and I keep thinking about how much I miss Walt Disney World. In fact, while I was looking for this picture to put on my blog,

I found this video that was taken last year in Disney World of the Miss America contestants with Mickey. It made me miss Mickey SOOOO much!!!



I just can't believe how much I miss it down there. And to think, when I started my official role in WDW, I hated it sooo much. I did everything in my power to switch out to a role in Hollywood Studios instead, but I didn't succeed in doing so. And now as I look back on my experience and I think about how much I loved going to the parks and the friends I made at the Mara, I realize that I miss it down there! I am making a trip down to Disneyland in November to go with a friend who lives 30 minutes away from Disneyland. She invited me to come stay with her so we can go together and she can see how I am with all the characters (translation- me transform into a 6-year-old around the characters :)). I am sooo excited to go. I am still in the process of earning a good deal of money to make up for the difference that I will be taking out of my school funds that I am earning while I am home. I already planned on this trip, though, and so that's why I am working so much. I haven't been to Disneyland since I was 7 or 8 and half the rides I went on as a kid scared me (Pirates of the Caribbean, Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain) but now that I'm completely obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean and I worked at Disney World, I want to see the difference between Disneyland and Disney World. I am very much looking forward to going down there.

I can't believe it has almost been a year....

I have been reflecting a lot the past few days about how a year ago, I was preparing to fly in an airplane all by myself for the first time to go across the country down to Florida where I would spend the Fall months in one of the happiest places on earth.

I can still remember my exact feelings about how I felt during those months. I felt excited, scared, and curious about what I was going to be doing. I don't think I could have predicted what my experience was like even if I had tried.

All those feelings are creeping back into my heart these days and it makes me want to do it again, even though I have a better idea of what it would be like (although, I probably wouldn't apply for Quick Service Food and Beverage again).

I made so many great friends while I was there. I really don't think there is another place in the world where you can have an experience like what I had- and I don't think ANYONE could have had an experience quite like what I had either. Oh boy. So many memories.

I learned SO many things while I was there. I absolutely loved it. I also think that the fact that I had NEVER been to Walt Disney World was probably a huge factor in why I enjoyed it so much. I spent quite a few of my days off going to the parks by myself or with some of my friends.

It was an incredible experience and I am so glad I had the opportunity to go down. I'm also grateful to my cousin for telling me about the program in the first place. Dayna, I'm pretty sure that if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have done the program! Thank you so much!

By the way, Dayna, I don't think I ever showed you this and I think you'll like it:


And I guess it is only fair that I also include this in honor of my cousin (and Dayna's sister), Lindsay, whose idea it was to ambush Jack after his pirate training so I could get this picture with him. :D :D :D


I was hoping Jack would stay looking at me long enough so that Lindsay could have gotten a pic of us looking at each other, but he looked at the camera instead.


So Jack paused long enough to get a pic of the both of us looking at the camera. :)

My role in Annie Get Your Gun....

is I am part of the ensemble! Yeah, I don't have any lines per se, but I do get to be in the show and sing with the rest of the cast, so I am ok with it. Plus, I wasn't really expecting too big of a role since I didn't even know the play that well to begin with and I don't particularly fit in either of the roles I read for. The girls and ladies I was up against were a lot better than me, so I would have been surprised if I had gotten a bigger part. Anyway, that's all!

Home for the Fall!

Now that I have a day off of work and it's not Sunday, I'm going to catch up on what's been going on in my life. I finished the Spring semester at BYU-I on July 23 and now I am home until January to work and make money for my last semester before student teaching.

I work at a grocery store called Days Market here in Heber

and I love my job there. Once school starts back up here in a few weeks, I'm going to start substituting as much as I possibly can so I can save up a bunch of money for the Winter semester so I won't have to worry about working when I get there.

I also auditioned for the community play "Annie Get Your Gun" that will be performed this November alongside Cowboy Poetry here in Heber.



So that's basically it. Work and the play :) Of course, I haven't actually found out my role yet in "Annie" so hopefully Duke will let us know sometime today. I'll be sure to make a post when I find out!

Peter Pan and Wendy

I was procrastinating homework last night and I watched most of Peter Pan on youtube. I had forgotten how much I love that movie! I was also reminded of how much I love the friendship between Peter Pan and Wendy. I started laughing so hard when Wendy was chatting away while sewing Peter's shadow onto his foot and Peter was looking confused as he scratched his head and said "Girls talk too much!" hehehe It's such a good movie! It threw me back to when I was in Disney World. I wish I could go back sometime soon! I think I left part of my heart there when I left in January. :(

My Blog Makeover!

This is kind of a random post, but I'm going to post it anyway. :) One of my best friends from high school, Carolynn Reynolds (her maiden name is Buchanan) has a website that has free blog backgrounds. It's http://myblogmakeover.blogspot.com/

That is where I get all these fun backgrounds for my blog! She's really talented and she has created all sorts of really cool backgrounds ranging from holidays like 4th of July and Mothers Day to the seasons and just solid colors. She can even create a custom background for a small fee! So go check out http://myblogmakeover.blogspot.com/!